Top 6 Tips to Deal With Negative Criticism Positively
Take this from me, you will have to occasionally deal with negative criticism coming from negative people. But the choice to handle negative criticism and comments positively or negatively rests with you only.
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Destructive criticism or negative comments come from small minds and toxic individuals mostly. Your ability to handle such situations constructively can help in your personal growth.
Taking note of a couple of critical comments from others is not a bad thing in itself. However, it becomes a problem when you allow the negative things people say about you or your project to control or discourage you.
This is why you must learn to deal with negative criticism in a positive manner.
As a student, you will be familiar with the disparaging remarks some of your tutors can make about individual students.
When a teacher makes very negative remarks about a student whose only fault is to be weak at a subject like Mathematics, then that teacher is no longer performing his duty.
He has turned himself into a dream killer. This is simply a poisonous teacher. And that is why no student should take such a teacher’s comments too seriously.
The same goes for parents who condemn their children to the point of even cursing them only because they did something they don’t like.
If you are a worker in an organization, you will have come across at least one situation where a “boss” makes remarks that reduce a subordinate to sub-human depths.
How I coped with negative criticism
As a little boy growing up, I loved to create and build new things. I devoted all of my play time to building anything from miniature cars to houses.
But I also had this friend. Let’s call him Agbeko.
Agbeko would always stand by and point to, or laugh at any fault he saw with what I was building. Worse than that, he would draw my attention to approaching passers-by who would definitely be ridiculing whatever I was building.
The worst part of it all was this: Agbeko would suddenly run off to go and call our peers to come and see the fool I was making of myself.
You can imagine what would follow – a cacophony of shrill, chuckling, little voices telling me all the things I’d got wrong with my pet project.
Frankly, there were a few times I gave up on my dream of building something new. Why? Because I feared Agbeko would soon join me and start his thing.
Luckily for me, there was this other boy who would always come to my rescue.He helped me deal with negative criticism from my friends.
This other boy wouldn’t say much though: Don’t mind them. They can’t do what you’re doing that’s why they’re discouraging you. Envy would kill them all.
Before I knew it, he would be gone. He wouldn’t wait for the heat to be turned on him.
This second boy’s attitude helped to develop self-confidence that took me right into my adult years. It is this kind of self-belief some people are quick to call my stubbornness.
I call it stubborn stick-to-it-ive-ness.
So, today, this is how I personally deal with negative criticism. I don’t let what others think or say discourage me whenever I embark on a dream project.
But that doesn’t take away completely the fear of criticism, you know.
The good news for me is this. I know how to deal with negative criticism and discouraging comments from people around me.
Almost all of us have this fear of negative criticism; especially if we’re unlucky to have an Agbeko or two in our lives. But there are good reasons why we need not succumb to this fear of negative comments.
I’m now going to share with you my tips for dealing with negative criticism and the people who enjoy criticizing others unnecessarily.
These tips focus on training your mindset to be able to positively deal with negative criticism.
1. Negative folks will never go away.
This is enough reason for you to commit yourself to whatever your dream may be. You can accomplish great goals in spite of the criticism.
Refuse to run for cover each time that toxic man or woman in your neighbourhood approaches. Because even if that one disappears today, I can assure you that you’ll soon encounter another one.
So why don’t you just keep doing what you know is right for you? Leave them to keep poisoning themselves with their own toxicity.
2. You will have supporters.
Count on these wonderful set of people. They’re usually not many, but they’re always there to encourage you.
Not everyone is a self-appointed judge of the actions of others.
True, the fault-finders are very many. But you and I know that once in a while, you’ll come across wonderful, positive people who would do anything to encourage and assist you to achieve your vision.
I’ve met two such people in my life – a teacher back at school and an elderly man in my home village.
I trust that you too will meet similar beautiful souls along the way.
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3. Good enough is good enough.
Did you know that we as humans will never reach a point of perfection? The technology we use today will look obsolete in a few years’ time, trust me.
But does that mean those who create what we use today are not reaping the rewards of their efforts? Sure, they are! Take a cue from that and learn to ignore the haters who pick holes in whatever you do.
So when you put in your all, be proud of the outcome and sell what you’ve produced because it’s good enough, at least for today.
4. You will never know it all
Recognizing the fact that you don’t, and cannot, know it all can be used to your advantage. If for nothing at all, it will equip you with the right mindset to deal with negative criticism.
Let this humbling discovery push you to search for more knowledge.
Rather than allowing your weaknesses or those who point them out to you paralyze you, you should make them increase your appetite for greater insights.
5. There will always be folks who are smarter than you.
That’s another humbling fact of life I have grown to accept.
The earlier you begin to accept it and move on with your own life, the better it will be for you.
Keep this in mind always. There are multitudes out there in desperate need of exactly what you have to give.
The good news is that you too are much better than a lot of folks. Chris Lema, speaking about the impostor syndrome, says this is enough good reason for us to just focus and do your best.
6. That’s why records will continue to be broken.
If the great sportsmen and women of yesteryear had worried about the fact that in a few years’ time more talented athletes would emerge to rubbish their achievements with more spectacular performances, they wouldn’t have created the fortunes they accumulated for themselves, their nations and their sponsors.
The lesson is this:
Ignore the critics. Do what you are capable of doing today and let tomorrow take care of its own self.
To positively deal with negative criticism, learn to follow your heart. Create your music. Start your dream business. Study that course. Write the book. Begin your blog. Whatever it is, just do it.
Stop allowing the Agbekos in your life to quench your fire. You’re good enough, at least by our generation’s standards.
Dump the fear of criticism and begin to deal with negative criticism positively .
Learn continuously to sharpen your skills. That is the best way you can impact the world in your own special way.
And remember, you can do this only when you take action now. Just act. Do it in spite of the negative comments.
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